Wedding Planning: It's All In The Details

For a couple months I had worked as an Event Specialist at a local event rental company in Santa Barbara. As an Event Specialist, it was my job to inform the client about certain details to consider when planning their wedding (or any event for that matter) because plenty of clients, usually brides, don't always think about these details when planning their wedding. And the details are super important for the overall brilliance of any event. I am going to share with you the tips I had learned from my very short time as an Event Specialist. 

Beach Weddings 
In Southern California, it is very common to have weddings on the beach. When we were renting to a beach bride, one thing we needed to ask was if the bride was planning on having an aisle runner on the sand at the ceremony. If they were, we suggested that they rolled out the aisle runner after the guests had been seated and before the bride walked down the aisle. This was so the guests wouldn't kick a lot of sand on the aisle runner before the bride could walk on it. The other thing to consider when having a beach ceremony or reception is to have a back up venue in case the weather isn't fair, even if the sun is out but the wind picks up. You don’t want your special day ruined by getting sand in your eyes.

Chairs 

Chair style is important to consider. Here's a tip: Those Chiavari chairs that look elegant and sophisticated, aren't all that comfortable. Because their back rest goes straight up instead of slanting back a little bit, they can actually be bothersome after a while. My tip: rent chairs that have leaning back rests for the ceremony, since your guests will be using them for a long while, and rent the chiavari chairs for the tables at the reception if the guests will mostly be sitting in them to eat the meal and for breaks in between dancing. And if you choose Chiavari chairs for the reception and you plan on having toasts, don't let the toasts go too long. I say this because in the office I had to sit in a Chiavari chair for quite a bit of the day, and trust me, they're not great for long periods of time. 

Test Your Tablescape

Always do a test run on your tablescape before you finalize your rental order. There is a word for this, I just can't think of it. You go to your caterer for a tasting of the food you are going to serve, so you should also do a test run for your table. You can call your rental company and make an appointment to have a sample of your table - table, linens, chairs, china, glassware, flatware, and whatever centerpiece or decorations you are using (you can also coordinate with your florist for a centerpiece sample). This is to make sure everything you want on the table will fit on the table and will go well together, so you are getting exactly what you envisioned.

Child-Safe Glassware
Rent glass for the drinks for adults and buy plastic glassware for the children. Young children are not so careful with glass, so if children under say seven or eight years old are going to be present, get some plastic glasses for the children's drinks, to limit the number of broken glasses you have to send back to the rental company, and pay for.

Think of The Musicians

You have to think of the needs of your musicians. Not only do you need to make sure your musicians have chairs to sit on (and maybe stands for their sheet music?), but if you are having musicians play outside in the sunlight, you will need to rent an extra umbrella or two for the musicians instruments. Warm temperatures can change the sound of musical instruments. Help your musicians play as beautifully as they can and provide for their needs.

How To Serve Your Food

When coordinating between your rental company and your caterer, often times your caterer will need to rent a few extra items. Plan with your caterer what you are serving and how you are going to serve it (buffet style, sit-and-serve, food stations, etc.), and your caterer can tell you if they will need waiter trays, tongs, serving spoons, bread baskets, among other serving pieces, and maybe even some cooking equipment or transit warming boxes.

Don't Forget The Cake Table and The Cocktail Table

If serving pre-dinner drinks and appetizers, consider having a few cocktail tables for guests to mingle around. And the cake table needs a cake stand, a cake cutter and a cake server. If you want to include dessert plates and dessert forks on the cake table, get a table big enough for all those items.

The Bar

If your are serving drinks, consider what you will need for the bar. Who's tending the bar and what will they need? For starters, a table or a bar for the bartender. Plan what drink you are serving and what kinds of glasses you want to serve them in: high ball, low ball, martini, red or white wine glasses, 12 oz. or 16 oz. mason jars (and yes, the size of the mason jar does matter), pilsner, margarita, zombie, endless possibilities! Will they need pitchers? A refrigerator? Bar mats? Ice tubs? 

Tents

If planning to use tents, be sure to finalize your plans for tents at least two weeks ahead of your wedding, so you can be sure all the fire permits are ready in time for your event. TTM filed the permits for you and just added it to your bill, and fire permits are not the funnest things to file for, so it was more convenient for clients to let us do it for them. 

Velon

Velon is plastic that you wrap around items such as heat lamps that either may be dinged up from previous use, or for ordinary items that you don't really want to be seen with your prettier things, like trash bins or ice tubs. They come in a few different colors to help blend with your overall theme, so amongst your opulent decorations you don't see some grimy, scuffed up trash bin.

What Does Your Venue Offer?

Does your venue have special lighting? Or will you be needing to rent some of those cute Market Style string lights to hang over your dance floor? Do they provide tables or chairs? How about trash or recycling cans? Any cooking equipment for your caterers? If it is an outdoor venue, do they have heat lamps or even bathrooms? Before talking to your rental company about renting these sort of items, ask your venue staff what they can provide for your wedding.

Who's On The Guest List

Consider who is coming to your event: old, young, people with allergies or special diets, parents with babies, people with disabilities, etc. For the elderly, you may want to choose chairs that will be the most comfortable for seniors because it is guaranteed they will be sitting the longest. For young children, it is hard to be sitting quietly all the time. Think about providing some side entertainment for children. I went to a wedding where they had a badminton net set up and a "Nerf Court" set with stakes in the grass and taped off, and the children could shoot Nerf guns or pass Nerf footballs to each other, and a volunteer supervisor made sure they didn't take the Nerf guns outside the court. If you have parents with babies coming, set aside a room for parents to change or take their crying little angels (and have it shown to them when they arrive so they know it's there). I say the allergy and dietary needs part more for your food selection so your guests with allergies or special diets (vegan?) have something they can eat. And for people with disabilities, if you have guests with crutches or wheel chairs, make sure they are able to get to their assigned seats, and have enough room to pull their wheelchairs in and out or a place to rest their crutches, and have enough space to get around everyone.

Dance Floor

These are the things to keep in mind when renting a dance floor. 1). What type of surface is the dance floor going on? Is it on a hardwood floor? A Deck? Carpet? Grass? Gravel? Dirt? A hillside? Find this out so the rental company can bring the right equipment to keep the floor stable and even. 2) How many people are going to dance at the same time? The answer is hard to narrow down. The Tent Merchant website has a chart for a dance floor size according to total guest count. Party Rental Ltd. estimates 3 sqaure feet per dancing person, and up to 2/3rd of the guests could be dancing at the same time. DanceDeck.com estimates that only 30% of your guests will be dancing at the same time. Just talk with your vendor and wedding coordinator how much room you can have for a dance floor, and however many guests can fit on the floor will take up the floor. That's the only advice I can give concerning the size, and to go with what the chart on the TTM website says.

Temperature Control

Keep your venue comfortable for your guests - and for yourself, also. No sense in being a Silent Sufferer on your wedding day. If you want your wedding ceremony or reception outside, consider the climate, the time of day, and the time of year your event will take place. Will you need umbrellas to protect your guests from the hot sun? Do you need heaters if you're having your event outside at night? In Santa Barbara, even in the summer the nights can get a little chilly, and personally I would appreciate a heater. If you are having your event in a tent with walls during the hot season, get some fans or make sure the tent walls can be rolled up if the stuffy heat is absolutely unbearable. And if you are in a tent outside in a colder climate, according to fire codes (at least in our area) you cannot have a heat lamp under a tent. I forgot the name for it, but there are fans that pump warm air into a tent to keep it warm and is safe under the SB county fire codes. And think about the ways to control the temperature of your ceremony or reception if they are going to be indoors. Talk to your venue staff about heating or cooling option.

Rent Some Extras

When in doubt, rent a few extra chairs, china, glassware, napkins, and flatware, and set aside a few extra seats at a table just in case if you have those last minute invited guests. But seriously, it really helps your event to go more smoothy if you know your expected guest count. So hound your guests for an RSVP, since it is becoming more common for invited guests to not respond, which leaves event hosts either with too much or not enough of something.

What Else Does Your Rental Company Offer?

What does the rental company have that can be used to liven up the party? TTM had fancy coffee makers and other things perfect for a coffee bar. They also had a popcorn maker. TTM also rented furniture, oriental style decorations (displayed in a room called "The Bazaar"), and other fun decorations that could add to your theme. They rented wine barrels, tapestries, chandeliers, arches, typewriters, boat oars . . . anything they had they would rent to you.

And here's some tips when it comes to planning with a rental company:

Consultations

When going to rental companies for a consultation, there are a few things to keep in mind. 1). Be sure you have a very good, solid idea of your budget, and the closer you get to your big day be sure your guest count is as definite as you can get. 2). When attending a consultation, it is best that whoever you bring has excellent taste (in a style that you are passionate about) and also someone who has experience in wedding planning, Your consultants as well as the people you bring to the consultation can help you identify the kinds of things you will need and what will go well with what. 

Courtesy To Your Rental Company

When making requests to your rental company, be specific, but not demanding, especially during the busy event season. I say this as a person with experience from behind the desk. Event Specialists work very hard to make all of their clients happy. And even though it is there job to serve your needs no matter what, it really helps the Event Specialists, even encourages them to work harder for you, if you are courteous and understanding. Seriously, all the staff at The Tent Merchant wanted was to make their clients' wedding as special as they could, and tried to go above and beyond to accommodate your needs. 

Remember: They Are RENTAL Items

Don't forget, you are not buying brand new merchandise. Some of your rented chairs or tables may have scuffs and chipped paint. Umbrellas may have their wooden frames more or less worn. Rental companies do try their best to clean and maintain their stock as best as possible (At least TTM did. I saw them clean up stock all the time). Don't worry, any honorable rental company wouldn't DARE rent you a chair with half of it's paint stripped off.

Awareness of the Company's Policies

Make yourself aware of all the rental company’s policies, including damage charges, delivery fees and times, how long you can keep the rented items, and how close to your event can you add or subtract to your order. 

Making Changes To Your Order

Finalize your order the soonest you can, especially if your wedding is during the busy season for events (May through October, by the way). You will want to make sure your most desired items and your needed amounts are reserved long ahead of time. If you change your chair or china selection a week or two before your wedding, there is a good chance you may not be able to reserve your new choice due to other clients having already reserved them. There is also a chance your rental company may be able to accommodate it, and feel free to ask, but don’t freak out if it can’t be changed. And when this case did happen at TTM, the event specialists did try their best to give the client other options that that they could be very happy with, since the Event Specialists and the Owners of TTM always kept up-to-date with the latest trends.

It's a lot to consider, I know, but as it shows, there is so much more to consider than just linen colors and china style when it comes to planning a wedding. These are some of the details that are commonly overlooked until the last minute. Keep these in mind for when you get engaged or are asked to help plan a friend's wedding. I invite you to comment and ask any questions, I would love to help.

http://thetentmerchant.com/index.html

http://www.dancedeck.com/calculate.php

http://www.partyrentalltd.com/about/faqs.jsp

My Hope Chest

When I was in my freshman year at city college, I started becoming interested in collecting home goods. My mom had told me about hope chests, originally a European tradition which young unmarried women would have a large wooden chest, usually made of cedar but in some cases with more expensive woods, and use it to store household goods like linens to use when they were married. The tradition has died down but there are still young women, especially in religious communities, that store household items in the hopes to use them for when they get married. When my mother told me about hope chests I was already starting to look forward to marriage, and so I started my hope chest.


I didn't have an actual wooden chest. Instead I had a large Tupperware bin which I started placing my first collected home goods in. Every time I visited Bed Bath and Beyond (and my visits increased when I started collecting) I would choose items from the cooking department that I knew I would use. The first item I bought was a zester. I had been watching lots of Barefoot Contessa and Everyday Italian, and Ina and Giada would almost always use a zester to get lemon, orange, or lime zest for their delicious recipes. And since my mom did not have a zester in her home, I figured I could buy one and use it when I would cook.

From there I moved to liquid measuring cups, glass bowls, a can opener, a pizza cutter, spatulas and tongs, oil dispensers, and then I branched out and bought wooden and cloth hangers, glass vases, elegant mugs, and candle votives. And in the last five years my "hope chest" has gone from one Tupperware bin to two Tupperware bins, half of my closet, and in other areas of my home where they can be used.

These are all the things in my hope chest that I am waiting to use or don't use very often. There are two Tupperware bins, the top full of kitchen gadgets and some cushy hangers, the bottom one has some pretty mugs, hurricane glasses, and glass vases. This takes up the bottom left half of my closet. I can't wait till I can bring them all out and use them!

For Christmas and my Birthday I always ask for home goods I still haven't collected yet. Last Christmas my dad gave me a toaster, a broom, and a dust pan. Another Christmas a while back my mom gave me two cookbooks and my dad gave me measuring cups and measuring spoons. I've been collecting other kitchen tools, some appliances such as an iron and a hand mixer. My mom gave me a silver Kitchen Aid stand mixer a couple Christmases ago. And I have been saving some items that my mom was going to give away, like my Grandpa's crystal candy bowl and my mom's cowboy boot drinking glasses.

"I spy with my little eye . . ."

When I began collecting home goods, I had realized that this was a good investment. Even if I wasn't going to get married right away, I could still use these things when I moved into my own place. That can opener I had purchased and the round standing mirror my grandmother was about to give away came in handy when I went away to college. I bought a couple candle sticks from Pier 1 that are standing on our dining room kitchen table as part of the fall table decor. And I use my stand mixer occasionally. But these things, useful things, would be ready for whether I moved out of the house and either lived on my own or if I got married. My mother and grandmother joke "Save some items for your bridal registry!" Oh, don't worry, there will be plenty other things to put on the registry.

For instance, one of the things I have not added to my hope chest are linens. Why? Because I don't know what size bed I'm going to have when I move out, or what my decorating style will be at the time. I don't know if by the time I really move out I will want green or purple bathroom towels or red or navy oven mitts. I don't know what size or shape kitchen or dining table I will have, so I haven't bothered much to buy any linens. Oops, I lied, I did buy some white dust rags. But hey, when I move out I won't have to worry about kitchen gadgets and can spend more on bed and bath linens.

Only a small sample of the decorative
things I have collected

Another rule that I had set for myself was to try purchasing "timeless" pieces. That's why I picked clear glass vases instead of overly decorated ones. And why I purchased off-white dinnerware, and white (yet prettily designed) mugs, and a silver stand mixer. I knew those would go with anything. I remember when I started collecting I had wanted everything in my kitchen green and yellow, but now five years later I'm not leaning much toward either of those for my dream kitchen. My preferred color scheme and style change, that's why I've chosen the timeless, neutral pieces. How can you go wrong with white, silver, and clear glass? But a while ago I began to have a fear that in choosing simply white or clear glass items, when I move out I will have nothing but a boring white, silver, or clear glass, colorless scheme in my new home. So lately I have been sneaking in a couple deep blue vases my parents used to keep, a couple tea lights in colored votives, and multi-colored napkin rings. I even splurged and bought a mustard yellow truck figure-thingy. You know, one of those decorative items at Ross and those types of stores that sell brand new things that were designed to look antique? Well, I gave in and bought the truck. It's sitting on one of my bookshelves. It sort of speaks to the country side of me (like the cowboy boot drinking glasses I mentioned).

I think I am going to go ahead and start collecting colored place mats and napkins, and table runners! It really is okay to collect some colored items for your hope chest. Just make sure you are going to love those colored or patterned items for a long while and don't get anything too trendy. I'm more of a classic girl than a trendy girl anyway.

And I can't forget my books with colored covers! I have kept so many books from school and from my leisure reading.  My personal library isn't nearly as large as some of my friends', but I can't help but look to my right from my bed and see my bookshelves full of different colored and different sized books, propped up or stacked, with a few trinkets placed amongst them. Surely my collection of books will add a big pop of color. I'm not kidding, I would be so sad if I had to get rid of a lot of my books to downsize for wherever I was moving.

There are a few places that I just love to shop for items for my hope chest. Pier 1 and World Market are wonderful because their merchandise is quite inexpensive. Both of these stores offer the "global" look which I also like. I've bought candle votives and stands from both. I've also bought some kitchen equipment from World Market, like the oil dispensers and a salt and pepper shaker set, and I bought my beautiful white mugs from there a few years ago, along with some other decorative pieces. From Pier 1 I have purchased the napkin rings and my whole dinnerware set (and it is so true about their slogan "Find what speaks to you"). Also I like to visit Pier 1 when they are putting some of their seasonal stuff on clearance. Back in September they had this adorable blue and brown speckled tea candle shaped as a frog which was part of their summer collection, and I bought it for less than three dollars. It's now sitting on the back porch shelf. My other favorite places to shop are Ross for their cheap decorative items. I bought a platter that I am looking forward to serving Middle Eastern and Indian cuisine on. I mentioned that I liked to shop at Bed Bath and Beyond (and still do!) for their quality kitchenware. Recently I purchased a tart tin and I used it to make my first ever tart (french apple!) and served to one of my bible study groups. And of course there's Target. You can get a lot of good things at Target for not too much. And if you go on a good day, JCPenney or Macy's will have some really good, irresistible sales. You just need to know when the best time to go is.

And, for the record, I never participate in Black Friday. Some people may get a thrill from battling crowds just to get at least their second or third choice items on their lists, or making a day of buying items you really, really, really don't need to buy that very day . . . but I'm just not interested.

I've been told by some people that my collection is a waste of money because I'm buying a bunch of stuff that I'm not using. Some have asked me "are you a hoarder?" From the pictures, does it look like I am the type of person you would typically see on Hoarders? Okay, my closet doesn't exactly look like one of those perfectly organized closets you see on Pinterest. I think the term would be best described for someone who has so much stuff they can't keep it properly and neatly stored, so much stuff that it's in their way. But my "hope chest" is stored neatly away where it is out of my way, not causing a mess, and is easily accessible. And no, I don't think that the items I have purchased are a waste of money. Everything I bought has a use and will be used - and some are currently in use - and if something should happen to me, someone else can use it. And I am investing the money now so that when I move out they will be ready to use and I will have less on my list that I will need to buy. Every day I look forward to marriage and my future home. Maybe marriage will come later than future home, but either way I can't wait to put together my new home.

The Sad Truth: The Metamorphosis of Christmas As a Holy Day into a Celebration of Consumerism

Macy's brings out their samples of decorated Christmas trees in August. Michael's has displays of Christmas crafts and reindeer made out of sticks by the end of September. And television run Christmas sales commercials weeks before Halloween! I just don't get why we can't make it through Thanksgiving or Halloween or even the Autumnal Equinox without seeing tree ornaments and Christmas light displays and wrapping paper with little elves on them. The only reason I can come up with is that businesses are competing to get your first attention and awareness that Christmas is (still a ways off) around the corner. For a while, Christmas hasn't been going to Jesus as strongly as it used to. It's been going to Consumerism.


How it bothers me terribly that while I am still considering what costume to wear for Halloween I am also prompted by advertisements to buy little Timmy an iPhone. When I used to think of Christmas gifts, a voice in my head used to say warmly and firmly "It is the season for giving and showing goodwill. I would love to give (insert object) to (insert person's name) because I care enough about (insert pronoun) to buy/make it for (repeat pronoun)." Now when I think of Christmas and gifts, a little TV ad comes into my brain with a tender, alluring little voice that whispers "It's the season of giving," but then an even bigger and obnoxious voice booms out "So go to (insert store name) and BUY BUY BUY!!!" And then I have to stress over saving enough money in the next few months to buy all the deserved presents for every single person I know. And yes of course if I could I would buy presents for everyone I know because I love to give. But it's not the season of goodwill that tells me to give, it's our Consumerist country that tells me to give, and it has a different motive to make me want to give besides out of the goodness of my heart. It's because businesses want my money.

Sure, advertisements may tell you they want you to give out of the goodness of your heart, but what they really want want you to do is spend as much as you can. They are really saying "The more presents you buy for your child/parents/aunt/sweetheart/distant never-met-before great Uncle the happier they will be . . . and the more you buy from us the happier we will be!"

Why do we need to make the entire Autumn season about celebrating the Holidays? Okay, I will admit, I do start sneaking a listen of Christmas music in early October. And honestly I think it's cute that a Resident Director back at TMC has already put up a Christmas tree in her apartment (it makes me look forward to decorating my living room even more). Okay, so it's not necessarily getting into the holiday spirit two months before Christmas that bothers me. I just hate seeing Christmas commercials popping up on my TV or during Hulu commercial breaks, and I'm annoyed when I see stores already setting up Christmas displays even before Halloween. Consumerism, please, let me celebrate Christmas for what it's really about and stop turning it into a commercial holiday like you did to poor Valentines Day.


By the way, I would say "let's celebrate Christmas for what it originally was for," because then what I would be saying is let's celebrate the Pagan holiday Saturnalia that Christians decided to change into a day of celebrating the birth of Jesus so they would get rid of the "week long period of lawlessness" (see website link on bottom for more info on Saturnaila). What I want to say is "let's celebrate Christmas for what it was created by Christians to be for." I want to remember to recognize Christmas as a Holy day to worship and give thanks to God for sending us His son. And I don't want my future children or grandchildren to get confused when at Christmas time I ask "do you know why we celebrate Christmas?" And also, if you are a reader who is not Christian, though I do urge you to consider the significance of Christmas from a Christian's point of view, but if you are a reader who is not a Christian, at least see Christmas as a time of giving, yes, giving, and a time of goodwill. Don't just BUY BUY BUY so you can do what the commercials tell you to do, but also remember that Christmas, although I wish it were heavily emphasized all year round, is a time to show kindness and provide for those less fortunate. The spirit of goodwill and giving that Christmas brings is not meant to be in greed or for the purpose of bringing yourself in the spotlight ("Isn't Aunt Dot wonderful for hosting Christmas dinner and decorating her home so festively," "I love my Mommy and Daddy so so much because they gave me everything on my wish list this year!") but to show the kindness that Christ demonstrated during His life and the kindness of provision and love that He still gives to us now.

Remember the more important things that are practiced during the holidays besides buying things. Remember the needy people who don't have homes or food to eat or heavy coats to keep them warm. Make yourself aware of the people in your life who don't have friends or family to celebrate with. Try buying fewer, smaller, and inexpensive gifts and use that extra money to donate blankets or food to a homeless shelter. Use that extra money to fill a shoe box for the Operation Christmas Child of Samaritan's Purse. What I like to do is throughout the year I put any spare change I have into a jar and around December I cash it all in and buy canned goods or blankets from the thrift store and donate them to the homeless shelter, or just keep that change with me until I see someone from the Salvation Army ringing a bell outside a shopping center. There are other organizations who provide support to the less fortunate during the holidays (and again I wish terribly that sharing goodwill was heavily emphasized throughout the year and not just during Thanksgiving and Christmas). And you don't have to give money to non-profits in order to show kindness. There are ways for you to show goodwill without spending money, If you know of a college student, a coworker, or a friend who cannot make it back home to see their family for Christmas, invite them over for your Christmas celebrations. Christmas day isn't just for spending it with family. It's open to whoever needs your company, and no one should be alone on Christmas.


References

http://www.simpletoremember.com/vitals/Christmas_TheRealStory.htm

http://www.samaritanspurse.org/what-we-do/operation-christmas-child/

A Rant About My Oma

The other day while I was waking up with my coffee, I decided to look at the bag of photo albums I had found in my sister's room. Don't worry, she moved out four months ago, I wasn't taking her stuff. I was cleaning out the rest of the things she left behind so a friend of mine could stay in it. Anyway, there were three albums in the bag and when I opened the first one I saw my Dad's mom, my Oma (grandmother in German) when she and my grandfather visited Teufen, Switzerland, probably back in the seventies, where she went to school. From what I could tell  in the photos she went to an all-girls school called Buserlis, and it had a "brother" school called Rosenbergainer, an all-boys school. But then again I am reading the names from a list typed in either German or Swiss that was in the album with female and male names either under Buserlis or Rosenbergainer, so maybe they were actually brother and sister dorms of the same school. I should ask my father which one is right.

As I looked through my Oma's photo albums I realized that I was looking through something my Oma must have treasured. The two other photo albums were with pictures from when she was a student in Teufen. There were black and white pictures of her with her classmates, some of her posing with a few friends, in costumes or pretty dresses, one with her sitting outdoors in a bathing suit in the summer time, one of her standing in a heavy coat in the winter snow. There were even some pictures of I'm guessing when she first met or married my grandfather. In the other album there were pictures of her and her husband when they visited England. There are pictures of her chatting outside with lots of older adults, sitting in restaurants or standing in front of English homes. From lots of these pictures it seemed my grandmother was very photogenic. She would sometimes be posing, and usually, if not always, she had a big smile on her face. These pictures reminded me of how friendly of a person I remember my Oma.

My Oma was a very social woman. Unlike shy little me, she could go up to anyone and start chatting up a storm. I was always amazed at her whenever I walked around town with her because almost always we would run into someone she knew. And she knew lots of different types of people. Rich, homeless, old, young, everybody! I only wish I could have been as conversational as she was.

One of my favorite memories of my grandmother was back when I was between 4 and 6 years old, Oma lived in a big (and pink!) boarding house across the street from the Arlington Theater. My twin sister and I would take turns every other Friday to spend the night at Oma's place. She would buy ginger cookies and soda, let us watch the Snow White movie from nineteen sixty or seventy-something, and then sleep on this bumpy roll-out foam mattress, and in the morning we would walk to IHOP for breakfast. Those every-other Friday nights were so special and I always looked forward to them.

There are other things I think of when I think about my Oma. She loved Santa Barbara and she loved the ocean. She volunteered as a Receptionist at the Maritime Museum for a few years until she was diagnosed with Dementia. I also got her short gene. When I reached high school I was finally taller than she was. But I'm only 4'11''! And she loved her jewelry. She wore lots of bangle bracelets and rings. She had a dear friend named Nick who was a craftsman, and made all sorts of things for her. He made wood carvings which she kept, and he also made jewelry for her. Gold and silver rings and bracelets with stones of all kinds. She never pierced her ears, though. And she had a heart for the needy. She visited the sick and fed them and kept them company. I really think my Oma was someone to look up to. And, come on, she was an adorable elderly lady!

As I mentioned earlier, she was diagnosed with Dementia. She was living independently at the time, but when the Dementia started kicking in she barely remembered to feed herself. So my Dad and my aunts had her move into a senior home where she could be taken care of as the Dementia got worse. I only visited her as long as she remembered me, but after a couple years she forgot who my sister and I were, and then she forgot my Dad and my aunts, and then she forgot a lot of other things, so I was told. Before she forgot who I was, my Dad took me to visit her at the home, but she was asleep when I was there. My Dad didn't want to wake her, so I asked my Dad if he could ask someone at the front desk for paper and a pen, and I wrote her a letter, updating her about my life and telling her that I missed her. I'm told she read it and kept the letter for a while. That was the last time I saw her. In August 2011 she passed away. I was on my way to visit a friend in San Luis Obispo, and I was more than half way there when I got the text from my Dad about my Oma's passing. I cried while I drove the rest of the way, and my friend and I sat while I shared some of my favorite memories of my Oma.

My Oma was part of the Neptune Society, which was a, well, society, I guess, and people who join are cremated after they die, and they have their ashes spread in the ocean. A year after she passed, my sister, Dad, aunts and their husbands, and I, took a boat less than a mile from shore to spread her ashes in the ocean she enjoyed so much. It was funny, we didn't realize until we were already out at sea that in order to open the box with her ashes we would need a screw driver. None of us had brought one, and after a minute of mild panic the guy who owned and drove the boat gave us one from his tool kit. We, well actually, my Dad, aunt Rita, and I (the other's got the heeby jeebies about touching someone's ashes) spread her ashes and a few flowers and shells into the ocean. And when we finished I felt that my Oma was finally at peace, in her desired resting place, which she loved so much. It was just fitting for my Oma.

I'm a sentimental girl who loves to keep things that belonged to relatives and loved ones. You know how when you were a kid walking through your grandparents' house you would stop and look or touch the many knick knacks they would have on display? My grandmother (my Mom's Mom) had a collection of tea cups and thimbles I loves to play with. One thing that I have of my Oma's that I used to love playing with and holding in the sunlight is a crystal paperweight shaped in a heart. I keep it on top of one of my bookshelves under my bedroom window where it can catch the morning sunlight. I've placed it next to a picture of my Oma that was taken by a professional photographer before she was put in the senior home. After she had died my dad's side of the family got together to divy up the thngs she left behind, like her jewelry. Because my grandmother and I had small hands, I got to keep one of her rings that fit me. It was a ring I believe her friend Nick made for her. It was made of gold and shaped like a rose. I wear it every once in a while if I feel like keeping my grandmother close to me. And I will look at this last picture of her to remember what a kind, friendly, and smiley woman my Oma was. I miss her and her stories and I just felt like ranting about her today.